I don’t need sunscreen I have glitter

I don’t need to floss I have straight 100 proof 

I don’t need Plan B plan A is to swallow

Because I read Howl in 12th grade English instead of doing textual analysis

Because once on YouTube I saw a man of flesh and blood like me drain a full bottle of Jack Daniels in 7 seconds

Because I watched Kakegurui.

I’m going to jump someone with a knife and fork and initiate the Rapture.

I will be the firstborn of the dead.

Camels bear headaches

Lions drink Walgreens Suicides.

Why would the inventor of the protein powder Negroni need a solid breakfast