Note: badboy found this in her vault, but neither of us can remember writing it. We can't find it anywhere online, so we're going to digitize it, but we might not be the actual authors. —m9

All these ducks on the lake this morning chattering like driftwood going through a buzz saw. All the thoughts in my brain at night like the sound of a dial-up modem. I've got a canvasback decoy my grandfather carved. I've got a piece of shot set aside on my dinner plate. Listen. I've got the most hilarious message on my answering machine. It begins: Nobody's home. It ends: You quack me up.